Learning How to Share with Grace
... Help children incorporate the spirit of sharing
Adults often blame children for not wanting to share, but I believe the core problem lies in how sharing is presented to them.
Sharing is a conscious decision to give something to another person. It may be the sharing of time or the act of splitting the last dumpling in half. But it is not the reluctant parting of something we don't want to give away.
You can begin demonstrating sharing, even when your child is an infant. In a classroom setting, this can be done with older children.
Fortunately, demonstrating sharing is easy:
Split the last dumpling with your spouse. Whenever there is only one of something left, make a habit of sometimes saying, “Let’s split this.” If you always give the last piece of something to a child, they take it as their due, not as a nice thing you do for them.
Show the gift of time and effort: “Let’s visit Grandpa to help him with his laundry. He has a hard time doing it alone now.”
Ready Practical Life snack exercises for children to practice preparing and serving. This provides a natural segue to the concept of sharing one’s own items.
Show how you might select a treasured item—perhaps a sweater—to wash by hand, embroider with a lovely design, and then gift to your sister. Be sure to explain that your sister has always admired this sweater, but you can no longer find another one to give her, so you’re giving it to her.
Deliberately create sharing opportunities, such as when another child is visiting. Suggest to your child that any items they wish to keep private should be put in the bedroom. Then your child will be the one to select a few toys that the guest may use freely. This gives your child time to consider the concept of sharing. It’s also important to make sure they know they have a safe, private space for special items.
The last point above is especially important when your family has a new second child (the dynamics are different when you already have two). The older child frequently feels ambivalent about the newcomer, so having a safe place to put treasures is important as the baby starts to move about the house.
More on new babies soon!
Great tips!