Practicing "Please" and "Thank You"

Montessori's Grace and Courtesy practice begins with the rituals in your daily life at home. Children want to be part of the family's natural interaction, rather than passive entities.

In our Grace and Courtesy practices, children watch us demonstrate how to use “please” and “thank you” through a simple skit, and then they practice with each other.

It is crucial to model manners in daily life, so that children naturally learn what to do and say in various situations.

Try this: You and your spouse deliberately use language for courtesy exercises during your normal interaction, especially when your children are with you.

It may seem oddly formal at first, but you will be thankful for this habit as your children get older because they will naturally copy your interactions. Plus, it is a nice practice to express clearly your thanks and appreciation for little things that your spouse does at home — it is often easy to let such things slide as home life gets busy, so think of it as a practice to age gracefully.

For those of you in schools, follow the same deliberate language use with all adults and children. Once the habit is established at school, new students are automatically pulled into it.

In the classroom, a child will toast oatmeal and fruits to make granola, carefully spoon it into cups, and walk around the room to offer the homemade treat to her friends,

The simple dialog between children in school will include phrases like this:

• Would you like a cup of granola?

• Yes, please. Thank you very much.

• No, thank you. I’m not hungry yet, but it smells delicious.

• You are welcome!

Model the same work at home as your child works with you for meal preparation.

Even the smallest of children delight in serving tea from a small pot!

Everyone needs to feel needed. Even the youngest child has a desire to be helpful.